Tales of the U-Bahn

I thought I'd write a brief post this evening about some things that always seem to be present or happen on the subway. Like taxi drivers, the subway has universal characteristics. There's always strange, forbidding on the subway. There's going to be a homeless person with a dog. And always someone on drugs. This is not unique to Austria, but just some things anyone riding on a subway will see. So lets start a list?

1) Middle school kids on a field trip. It's best to avoid kids in large groups on the subway. There's something about an inclosed space that makes it the best place to go crazy. They will also bump you on purpose because it's fun.
2) Don't make eye contact with people you'd rather not talk to. Especially at night. Just don't. Stay with someone. Glare, it helps. 
3) Sometimes these people yell German gibberish. Again, don't make eye contact. Dead pan facial expression.
4) The large group of foreigners talking loudly.
5) It's best to not try and drink your soda when the U-bahn is breaking. It will spill all over your face, your arms, and your clothes. Eating is likewise best for a stable environment. I spilled pastry filling on my jeans yesterday after I forgot to lean as it was stopping and flew into this poor lady.
6) You will knock people around. There'll be awkward boob-grazes. You will most deifnintely step on someone's toes. You will have a hard time standing. Don't be cool and act like you don't need the handrails. (I keep thinking I've got my balance down on the subway. False. I keep flying into people, but I'm too stubborn to hold onto something)
7) If an elderly individual boards the subway, and there's no seat, you get up. It's just the right thing to do.
8) Even if their child is ADORABLE, do not smile and wave at other people's children on the U-bahn. It creeps parents out. Even if you just love children, they don't know you, and they honestly just want to get home.
9) Always always always double check which train you're getting on and which way it's going. Even if you do it every single day, twice a day, three times a day. I go the same way to school every morning so when I'm not going to school, I often find myself on the way there because I just always hop on the red line. If you're tired, triple check.

I have two really awesome things to post about, the Secessionists building and the Belvedere museum that will be long with tons of pictures. And lots of art history. Tomorrow we're going to the Leopold! So I guess, that'll be another long one. Guten Abend aus Österreich (Good night from Austria)!