"And it's not even my birthday, cake cake cake cake cake"

I wanted to finish up my post form Saturday before saying anything about Sunday or today. I slept in on my birthday which I really needed. We took a bus out to the suburbs to start our hike. I'll be brief about the actual hike: not a fan. Not a fan. It was certainly not what I would have planned for my birthday, but the circumstances were what they were. I was glad I got to the top. The view of Vienna was superior to none.

 The above picture was before I realized how far we were hiking, so I was happy.

Already behind, when we reached the crest of this hill, I thought for sure we were done. Nein.

Here, all the skinny monsters on the trip were basically skipping ahead to my chagrin. I was embarrassed I was so far behind, and the kind people KEPT WAITING. I would stumble, sweat soaked and pathetic up to the group, only to start walking AGAIN. Dear mother, it wouldn't end. I'd look up and a steeper incline would be staring back at me, chucking it's devil laugh.

 I acted like I wanted to stop and take his picture, but really it was a lie. My heart was near implosion. I think people were on to me though. =)

And the top. Quite a view. Beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. Indescribable. Incomparable. Every synonym you can find for epic. One of the guides busted out some chocolate from her back pack, and I happily ate the thousands of calories I just "hiked" off (I put hike in quotations because really, every step was a force of will, and a result of my mental encouragements, "Carsonnnn-dammmmmmit-make it up this stupid mountain-not a fan-NOT A FANNN" and real hikers have better fortitude). Also, on the other side, a bus shuttles well clothed, nice smelling, fresh people to the top so they can walk down the other side to judge me for how much I was sweating. I also think I was probably the only one judging me.

Luckily the walk down was less strenuous. Though being clumsy, I had to pay close attention to my footing. We stopped half way down at this outdoor restaurant for another round of traditional Austrian food. I nearly cried when I saw bushes upon bushes of peonies, my favorite flower. Mom, bless her, has tried to grow peonies for me to not much luck, though honestly it's not her fault since our dogs, bless them, run through that garden bed. Blissful smelling, blooming beautiful flowered all around me.

Then we were seated, and I saw Vienna again. This time less sweaty, marginally happier, drinking sparkling wine, and about to be fed. And it hit me, nature is worth that freakin' battle. I still cried, and I mean CRIED when I got back to my room because it was so hard and I was so mad it was so hard for me, and it was my birthday, and I really wanted a Mommy hug, but it was okay. I'd be okay. This whole trip would be okay. Even though I don't know who my roommates are. And my German teacher today thinks I'm stupid. And that even though I'm in Wien, a food and culture center, my favorite meal so far has been the ham and cheese I made in my room, yay butter. And that most of the time I just want to be by myself. Forcing myself, however grudgingly, grumpily, or groggily to do things that scare me, to do things that I know are good for me but that I don't want to do is exactly like hiking that stupid mountain. I could only see that prettiest thing I've ever seen in my tiny span of 21 years by doing really hard work to get there.

This morning was a ball of stress since I started my German classes. Entering a class where 1/2 of them have taken 3 classes already together with the same teacher is rather difficult. We also learned something I'd never heard of (probably a good sign) but I'd hoped for a slight review at first. I loosened up some, and hope to impress my teacher tomorrow. Lunch with friends at Subway, which smells the exact same--seriously, exactly the same--and some Marakov cake for my birthday (it's like tiramsiu yet better) revived me for the arts and culture class in the afternoon. I may or may not have napped a bit in between the Roman settlement and Franz Joseph in my seat but at least it was a good nap. I spent the evening doing homework and researching what I want to do in Vienna this week! Wish me luck tomorrow my friends, the teacher was stern about no English being used in the classroom. Eek!